Life After Substance Abuse
People often think recovery from substance abuse is to simply to stop doing drugs or drinking alcohol and then, like the snap of Thanos fingers your life should miracously fall into line. What people fail to understand is the highjacked brain needs time to re-acclimate to being sober, not to mention the often messy situations left in the wake of a serious drug abuse addiction.
Becoming sober after years of substance abuse may feel like awakening from a long, fuzzy, painful but endearing dream. Sometimes in the wake of what is now reality, the romanticized notion of drugs beckons like an alluring seductress who tempts you with vivid tales of kaleidoscopic highs and promising adventures.
“The memories of the good times is what drives the continued use of substances…”
Letting go of substance abuse is likened to getting out of a bad relationship you knew was toxic but was feeding some inner need you had. The memories of the good times is what drives the contiuned use of substances, although in reality, it’s been a while since you’ve had any good times at all. What seemed like a hoot then, now feels like your soul is buried alive and somehow you are functional enough to merely exist in life by “showing up” to things like school, a job or your marriage.
Addiciton is a wide spectrum and people will experience different recoveries in different stages at different times. So if you know people who are able to party hard and just stop but you party hard even when there is no party; honor they may not have an issue with substances like you do. And that’s fine. Start focusing on what needs to change in YOUR life.
“Energy follows thought”
What’s important to note is, substance abuse doesn’t need to be your death sentence or a running tab of narratives you use to explain away all the stupid shit you did while high (yes, you’ve done some dumb shit). It means taking accountability for your past behaviours but not allowing them to dictate the present for you. It also means you need to stop accepting other peoples expectations and narratives about you, because if you buy into that shit, good luck trying to make any satisfactory changes.
Energy follows thought!
“….People will spend copious amounts of time languishing in guilt, shame and remorse at unhealthy levels”
The only thing left to do is to admit to yourself you’ve fucked up somewhere along the path (and that’s ok). When you admit to yourself the truth about your addiction, you shine a light on the ego and those narrow walls of addiciton begin to implode. It’s also at this delicate stage where the ego is most vulnerable and people will spend copious amounts time languishing in guilt, shame and remorse at unhealthy levels. This cycle of re-victimization only further reinforces addictive behaviours because, the whole reason of using was to numb the throbbing pain buried in the deepest parts of your heart.
Learning to be empowered by moving through those painful yet necessary stages is what makes your transformation all the more impactful. When you can stand on the other side and see, feel, taste, know the difference in your spirit - you hit the sweet spot of your soul.
“Healing without wisdom is like having a band-aid that doesn’t stick”
Actual recovery work can be messy, bring about catharsis and pinpoint painful trauma’s you’ve been trying to minimize. Healing is done in stages, so you can never “get it all” during one time or another. Wisdom gained from one level of healing actually informs subsequent layers of healing. Healing without wisdom is like having a band-aid that doesn’t stick. Sure the wound will eventually heal, but why risk infection, jacked up scarring and other mishaps totally avoidable by intentional and mindful care of self.
Sequences of change unfold perfectly in your life when you ditch the facade and face your shadow head on by being honest with your reflection. People sit in self-help groups all day re-telling their stories over and over again, saying the same sad shit over and over ad nausem.
True transformation is being able to tell your story but no longer identify with it because you’ve evolved beyond that aspect of yourself. Telling your story as a cautionary tale or imparting wisdom from the gems you’ve extracted along the way shows your willingness to embrace your shadow as an integrative process rather than something to get rid of. Unchecked self-help groups feed off the psychic vulnerabilities of trauma. After your story has been validated (everyone deserves their story to be validated) for the experiences and trauma you’ve been through, how many more times do you need it to be validated by repeating the same narrative, with the same emotional vigor and the same fucking people?
It’s time we get out of these sick eurocentric ways of so-called healing and take our soul path seriously by appreciating our journey, doing the necessary work and knowing that there is life after addiction; we just need to write it.
